I'm not sure why I can't accept what I know to be the truth, but as much my heart is willing, something in my head will not let go. I'm talking about the first time I've ever asked a girl out on a date. Some of my (currently imaginary) readers may say, "What's the big deal?", while others may understand what I think I'm going through.
Let me start with what happened. So I finally worked up enough courage to ask, asked, and she said that she didn't see it going beyond being friends. Now I don't mind that, not even a little bit ... okay I was a little disappointed. But, my heart knew that if she said [no], that that would be okay because having honest friends is something I'm still new at (you can imagine how school sucked without friends), so having another friend is also something to be happy about. However, when I started (unwillingly) "thinking" again, I could not for some reason accept [no] and was always, at least sub-consciously, in some form of denial for well, maybe up even until today. And now I'm venting my frustration at my own inability to stop thinking about it here, so maybe, just maybe, I can understand. I figure that this is pretty much the case for most people (some form of denial), but I want to understand why we as humans get so disappointed when this happens. It might be impossible to answer, but it doesn't stop me from asking the question...
If you haven't already, read how I view heart vs. brain and feeling vs. thought in this blog post: (Will be inserted after post is written). It should explain a few things about this post.
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